Hard Tongue Twisters for Tricky Words & Voice Control

"Meter maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus Mayo, a moody male mailman moving mostly metered mail."

"If a fella met a fella in a field of fitches Can a fella tell a fella where a fella itches?"

"Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring."

"I thought the haughty Professor Tortoise taught ontology, but the naughty Tortoise taught us tautology."

"She thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of her thumb."

"Tie a knot, tie a knot. Tie a tight, tight knot. Tie a knot in the shape of a nought."

"Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock."

"John, where Molly had had "had", had had "had had". "Had had " had had the teachers approval"

"Mares eat oats and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy. A Kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't ewe?"

"Three grey geese In a green field grazing, Grey were the geese And green was the grazing."

"If you can't can any candy can, how many candy cans can a candy canner can if he can can candy cans ?"

"If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can."

"Kantai can tie a tie. If Kantai can tie a tie, why can't I tie a tie like Kantai can tie a tie."

"Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday."

""The Professor Peter Peckinpah all purpose anti-personnel Peckinpah pocket pistol under the toupee trick""

"Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill."

"How much caramel can a canny canonball cram in a camel if a canny canonball can cram caramel in a camel?"

"Upper roller, lower roller, upper roller, lower roller, upper roller, lower roller."

"The Knight said, "He's", with niceties, "some nights a tease or nice at ease on nice settees"."

"I see a sea down by the seashore. But which sea do you see down by the seashore?"

"She stood on the steps of Burgess's Fish Sauce Shop, mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in."

"Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors."

"Don't trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you! If you trouble trouble, triple trouble troubles you!"

"Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he?"

"Mr. Tongue Twister tried to train his tongue to twist and turn, and twit an twat, to learn the letter "T"."

""He thrusts his fists against the posts, and still insists he sees the ghosts.""

"They hatch fish at the state fish hatchery and sell hatched fish to the fish stick factory."

"They think that their teeth get thinner at times they want to taste thick meat."

"The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn."

"She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells."

"The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday."

"Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to."

"A lady sees a pot-mender at work at his barrow in the street. "Are you copper-bottoming 'em, man?" "No, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mam.""

"The big black bug bit the big black bear, but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!"

"On mules we find two legs behind and two we find before. We stand behind before we find what those behind be for."

"How much snus could a moose on the loose use if a moose on the loose could use loose snus?"

"Ray Rag ran across a rough road. Across a rough road Ray Rag ran. Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?"

"What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Any noise annoys a noisy oyster, but a noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most!"

"Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye. If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye."

"There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through."

"I shot a hippopotamus with bullets made of platinum because if I used leaden ones his hide would surely flatten them."

"Mr. See owned a saw and Mr Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See."

"I stood sadly on the silver steps of Burgess's fish sauce shop, mimicking him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming him within."

"There those thousand thinkers were thinking where did those other three thieves go through."

"11 was a racehorse, 22 was 12, 1111 race, 22112. Wunwun was a racehorse, Tutu was one too. Wunwun won one race, Tutu won one too."

"I can't believe that "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is actually a butter that I can't believe is not butter."

"Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?"

"Denise sees the fleece, Denise sees the fleas. At least Denise could sneeze and feed and freeze the fleas."

"A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"The CEO's colleagues trusted those successful clients although their results weren't less than lumpy!"

"I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks. I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks. I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks."

"She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?"

"Tell a tall tale of a tall tailed dog, that told Tim it tap a tall ale and thump the top of Tim's tomb."

"Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she sure saw seven segregated seaplanes sailing swiftly southward Saturday."

"She sells sea shells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure."

"We need a plan to fan a pan; find a pan to fan, then find a fan to fan the pan, then fan the pan."

"How many cans can a cannibal nibble if a cannibal can nibble cans? As many cans as a cannibal can nibble if a cannibal can nibble cans."

"Irish wristwatch"

"If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?"

"A canner exceedingly canny, One morning remarked to his granny, A canner can can, Anything that he can, But a canner can't can a can; can he?"

"Aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum"

"Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen."

"Deer, deer, oh dear, oh dear, your career as a deer is over here no, no, oh no, although your career as a skellytun's begun."

"Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets."

"Silly Sally Shouldnort shaved sheep she should show soon so selling sheep shaved showed she shouldn't show shaved sheep so soon."

"How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans."

"A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest."

"If your Bob doesnt give our Bob that bob that your Bob owes our Bob, our Bob will give your Bob a bob in the eye."

"A cunning young canner from Canning Once observed to his granny, "A canner can can a lot of things gran, But a canner can't can a can, can he?""

"A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."

"An elephant was asphyxiated in the asphalt."

"Fred Threlfall's thirty-five fine threads are finer threads than Fred Threlfall's thirty-five thick threads."

"Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter."

"Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery."

"If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers packed survive for two and a half years?"

"Theodore Thistle threw three thorny thistles. How many thorny thistles did Theodore Thistle throw?"

"How much dew does a dewdrop drop If dewdrops do drop dew? They do drop, they do As do dewdrops drop If dewdrops do drop dew."

"A wooden worm wouldn't be worthy of worship but would he if he wondered and worried about what he would be worthy of if he wasn't wooden?"

"I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why."

"Hercules, a hardy hunter, hunted a hare in the Hampshire Hills. Hit him on the head with a hard, hard hammer and he howled horribly!"

"The Smothers brothers' father's mother's brothers are the Smothers brothers' mother's father's other brothers."

"To begin to toboggan, first buy a toboggan. But don't buy too big a toboggan. Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan."

"There was a writer called Wright, he taught his son to write Wright right: "It's not right to write Wright 'Rite', please try to write Wright right!""

"How much dough would Bob Dole dole if Bob Dole could dole dough? Bob Dole would dole as much dough as Bob Dole could dole, if Bob Dole could dole dough."

"How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies."

"I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch."

"Kanta is a masai girl. She can tie a tie and untie a tie. If Kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie?"

"I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit."

"Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?"

"Grandma Gabby Grammer grabbed a gram of gummy goulash. If Grandma Gabby Grammer grabbed a gram of gummy goulash, How many grams of gummy goulash did Grandma Gabby Grammer grab?"

"Bill had a billboard, Bill also had a board bill. The billboard bored Bill so Bill sold the billboard to pay for the board bill."

"If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?"

"You name it, we claim it. If we can't get it, we'll send you to get it. If we can't send you to get it, forgit it. Who's got it, if we don't got it?"

"How many rats would the ruskies roast if the ruskies could roast rats? How many cats would a caddie catch if a caddie could catch cats?"

"There's a cross on the muzzle Of the pistol with the bullet But a nick on the handle Of the pistol with the blank."

"How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground."

"If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er?"

"I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit."

"I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish."

"A Tudor who tooted the flute tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, "Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?""

"How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?"

"I know a boy named Tate who dined with his girl at eight eight. I'm unable to state what Tate ate at eight eight or what Tate's tête à tête ate at eight eight."

"I saw a saw in Warsaw. Of all the saws I ever saw I never saw a saw that could saw, like the saw I saw in Warsaw."

"Dr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson, after great consideration, came to the conclusion that the Indian nation beyond the Indian Ocean is back in education because the chief occupation is cultivation."

"Which Swiss witch switched the Swiss wristwatches?"

"Slinking, sliding, slithering slyly, Swiftly slipping through the grasses shyly, Silent but for swish and hiss Is the sinuous snake's leglessness."

"How many berries could a bare berry carry, if a bare berry could carry berries? Well they can't carry berries (which could make you very wary) but a bare berry carried is more scary!"

"Luke Luck likes lakes. Luke's duck likes lakes. Luke Luck licks lakes. Luck's duck licks lakes. Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes. Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes."

"Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. But if Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore then where are the sea shells Sally sells?"

"Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!"

"Jean Claude Jaquettie, with his jacket on. Jean Claude Jaquettie, with his jacket off. Jean Claude Jaquettie, with his jacket on. Jean Claude Jaquettie, with his jacket off. Jacket on, Jacket off, Jacket on, Jacket off."

"Tricky Tristan tracked a trail of tiny turtles. How many tiny turtles did Tricky Tristan track? Tricky Tristan tracked twenty two tiny turtles; that's how many tiny turtles tricky Tristan tracked."

"Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch."

"Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt. Not a punt cut square, Just a square cut punt. It's round in the stern and blunt in the front. Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt."

"The seething sea ceaseth; thus the seething sea sufficeth us."

"As he gobbled the cakes on his plate, the greedy ape said as he ate, the greener green grapes are, the keener keen apes are to gobble green grape cakes, they're great!"

"I'm a sheet slitter. I slit sheets. I'm the sleekest sheet slitter that ever slit sheets."

"There was a fisherman named Fisher who fished for some fish in a fissure. Till a fish with a grin, pulled the fisherman in. Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher."

"The bottle of perfume that Willy sent was highly displeasing to Millicent. Her thanks were so cold that they quarreled, I'm told o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent"

"Knife and a fork bottle and a cork that is the way you spell New York. Chicken in the car and the car can go, that is the way you spell Chicago."

"I'm not the fig plucker, nor the fig plucker's son, but I'll pluck figs till the fig plucker comes."

"When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?"

"How much juice does a fruit juice producer produce when a fruit juice producer produces fruit juice? We can deduce a fruit juice produces as much juice as a fruit juice produce can seduce from the fruit that produces juice."

"Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift."

"Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me. My mother's making me marry Mary Mac. Will I always be so Merry when Mary's taking care of me? Will I always be so merry when I marry Mary Mac?"

"A flea and a fly in a flue, were imprisoned. So what could they do? Said the fly, "Let us flee". Said the flea, "Let us fly". So they flew through a flaw in the flue."

"I am not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son but I'll be plucking pheasants When the pheasant plucker's gone."

"A bitter biting bittern bit a better biting bittern And the better biting bittern bit the bitter biting bittern back. Said the bitter biting bittern to the better biting bittern “I’m a bitter biting bittern bitten back”"

"Never trust a sloppy crust, a squally gust, ships that rust, or girls with lust. But if you must, you may trust to go bust, and back to dust, which serves you just."

"Three Tree Turtles Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters. If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters, where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?"

"A fly and flea flew into a flue, said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?' 'let us fly' said the flea said the fly 'shall we flee' so they flew through a flaw in the flue."

"Admidst the mists and coldest frosts, With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, He thrusts his fists against the posts, And still insists he sees the ghosts."

"How many wenches could a witch's wench wrench wrench if a witch's wench wrench could wrench wenches. As many wenches as a witch's wench wrench could, if a witch's wench wrench could wrench wenches."

"I am not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's mate. I am only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker's late."

"How much myrtle would a wood turtle hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle? A wood turtle would hurdle as much myrtle as a wood turtle could hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle."

"Which Witch snitched the Snitch Witch? Or did the Snitch Witch snitch the Witch? If the Snitch Witch snitched the Witch then which Witch did the Snitch Witch snitch?"

"Mo mi mo me send me a toe, Me me mo mi get me a mole, Mo mi mo me send me a toe, Fe me mo mi get me a mole, Mister kister feet so sweet, Mister kister where will I eat !?"

"Now the trees are all groaning in growling, rough gales That with thuds and hoarse roaring roll raging around! Such leaf-rousing, branch-ruining, ripping, raw wails, Such a terrible, thrashing and tree-wrecking sound!"

"Whether the weather be fine or whether the weather be not. Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot. We'll weather the weather whether we like it or not."

"Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop. All day long he fits and tucks, all day long he tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits. Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop."

"Dick had a dog, the dog dug, the dog dug deep, how deep did Dick's dog dig? Dick had a duck, the duck dived, the duck dived deep, how deep did Dick's duck dive? Dick's duck dived as deep as Dick's dog dug!"

"When I went to Warsaw, I saw a saw that could outsaw any saw that I ever saw. Now, if you go to Warsaw and see a saw that could outsaw the saw I saw, I'd like to see your saw saw."

"A twister of twists once twisted a twist. and the twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist. now in twisting this twist, if a twist should untwist, would the twist that untwisted untwist the twists?"

"The sixth sick sheik's sixth sick sheep."

"Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood. If Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood, where is the wood saw witch would saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood."

"If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker it is slick to stick a lock upon your stock or some joker who is slicker is going to trick you of your liquor if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock."

"What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A terribly difficult thing to say and a harder thing to do. A dragon will come and beat his drum Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two."

"I thought a thought. But the thought I thought Wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought, Had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought I thought."

"Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore For shops at the seashore are so sure to lose And she’s not so sure of what she should be selling Should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes"

"As I was in Arkansas I saw a saw that could out saw any saw I ever saw saw. If you happen to be in Arkansas and see a saw that can out saw the saw I saw saw I'd like to see the saw you saw saw."

"What did you have for breakfast? - rubber balls and liquor! What did you have for lunch? - rubber balls and liquor! What did you have for dinner? - rubber balls and liquor! What do you do when your sister comes home? - rubber balls and liquor!"

"One smart fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart. Three smart fellows, they felt smart. Four smart fellows, they felt smart. Five smart fellows, they felt smart. Six smart fellows, they felt smart."

"She sells sea shells on the sea shore; The shells that she sells are sea shells I'm sure. So if she sells sea shells on the sea shore, I'm sure that the shells are sea shore shells."

"The sixth shack's sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep 's sick."

"Customer: Do you have soothers? Shopkeeper (thinking he had said "scissors"): No, we don't have scissors. Customer: Soothers! Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers. ... scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers."

"Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread. Spread it thick, say it quick! Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread. Spread it thicker, say it quicker! Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread. Don't eat with your mouth full!"

"Colliding, colt riding cowboys, combining colliding while gliding at night coinciding in their fight. It wasn't quite trite even with slight sight, who was right? The fight like light, flashed bright, fast as bears bite flies flying near the bears eyes the fleeing flies die."

"My Friend Gladys Oh, the sadness of her sadness when she's sad. Oh, the gladness of her gladness when she's glad. But the sadness of her sadness, and the gladness of her gladness, Are nothing like her madness when she's mad!"

"Thrifty Theophilus, the theocratic thistle sifter, thrice thrust three thousand thistles through the slick thick of his softly throbbing thumb."

"Sister Susie's sewing shirts for soldiers, Such saucy soft short shirts for soldiers sister Susie sews, Some soldiers send epistles say they'd sooner sleep on thistles, Than those saucy soft short shirts for soldiers, Sister Susie sews."

"Sister Suzie sewing shirts for soldiers Such skill as sewing shirts Our shy young sister Suzie shows Some soldiers send epistles Say they'd rather sleep in thistles Than the saucy, soft short shirts for soldiers Sister Suzie sews."

"De doorgaans dappere Durgerdammer drukker Dirk Doordraver die driemaal daags drieduims dikke dictionaires drukte doch door de dagelijkse druk dermate depressief doordraaide dat Dirk daaraan denkend daardoor dieptreurig de donkergrijze deur der drukkerij denderend dicht donderde. Dirk's drie dikke domme dochters dachten dat depressieve Dirk dagelijks drie deciliter drabbig dikke donkere druivensap dronk."

"Bobby Bippy bought a bat. Bobby Bippy bought a ball. With his bat Bob banged the ball Banged it bump against the wall But so boldly Bobby banged it That he burst his rubber ball "Boo!" cried Bobby Bad luck ball Bad luck Bobby, bad luck ball Now to drown his many troubles Bobby Bippy's blowing bubbles."

""The pellet with the poison's In the vessel with the pestle The chalice from the palace Has the brew that is true." "The pellet with the poison's In the flagon with the dragon The vessel with the pestle Has the brew that is true""

"Mr Knott and Mr Watt on the Phone Hello? Who's calling? Watt. What's your name? Watt's my name. Yes, what is your name? My name is John Watt. John what? Yes. ... I'll call on you this afternoon. All right, are you Jones? No, I'm Knott. Will you tell me your name, then? Will Knott. Why not? My name is Knott. Not what? Not Watt. Knott. What?"

"How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck? Chuck Woods' woodchuck would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as any woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood."

"But a harder thing still to do. What a to do to die today At a quarter or two to two. A terrible difficult thing to say But a harder thing still to do. The dragon will come at the beat of the drum With a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tat a-tat-to At a quarter or two to two today, At a quarter or two to two."

"She is a thistle-sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle-sifter."

"The Leith police dismisseth us They thought we sought to stay; The Leith police dismisseth us They thought we'd stay all day. The Leith police dismisseth us, We both sighed sighs apiece; And the sighs that we sighed as we said goodbye Were the size of the Leith police."

"Corythosaurus bit the gory esophagus of the dillapitated Dilophosaurus who lived in the sorest of forests with the whacky pachy-rinosaurus and the ceratosaurus, but the most poorest and mourish panoplosaurus called Wang sang and rang chorus with the lurdusaurus and the brachiosaurus who was dying of staphylococus-aureas."

"If a Hottentot tot taught a Hottentot tot to talk before the tot would totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought, or naught, or what ought to be taught the Hottentot tot? If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot be taught by a Hottentot tutor, should the tutor get hot if the Hottentot tot hoots and toots at the Hottentot tutor?"

"Federal Express is now called FedEx. When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex. But if I'm an officer when I retire, I'll be an ex Fedex Exec. Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex. If I rejoin FedEx in time, I'd be an ex ex FedEx exec. When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex."

"King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb. A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb. If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb, How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?"

"I'm a mother pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasants. I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker, to ever pluck a mother pheasant. Actually, ... I'm Not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son. But I'll stay and pluck the pheasants Till the pheasant plucking 's done!"

"The third time the three three-toed tree toads tried tying their toes together, the third three-toed tree toad tied the two three-toed tree toads toes to the third toads toes. Then the two tied three-toed tree toads told the third three-toed tree toad that tying their toes together thrilled them to their toe tips."

"Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug - although, theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year old thug thought of that morning."

"A tree toad loved a she-toad, Who lived up in a tree. He was a three-toed tree toad, But a two-toed toad was she. The three-toed tree toad tried to win, The two-toed she-toad's heart, For the three-toed tree toad loved the ground, That the two-toed tree toad trod. But the three-toed tree toad tried in vain. He couldn't please her whim. From her tree toad bower, With her two-toed power, The she-toad vetoed him."

"There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold silk sheets. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shieks. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shieks too!"

"A sad story about Nobody This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody, when Nobody did, what Anybody could have done."

"Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood."

"Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop. All day long she sits and shines, all day long she shines and sits, and sits and shines, and shines and sits, and sits and shines, and shines and sits. Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop. Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop. All day long he fits and tucks, all day long he tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits. Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop."

"Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?"

"Sinful Caesar sipped his snifter, seized his knees and sneezed. Chester chooses chestnuts, cheddar cheese with chewy chives. He chews them and he chooses them. He chooses them and he chews them Those chestnuts, cheddar cheese and chives in cheery, charming chunks. Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously. Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses As Moses supposes his toeses to be. Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly in "Singing in the Rain" (1952)"

"Out in the pasture the nature watcher watches the catcher. While the catcher watches the pitcher who pitches the balls. Whether the temperature's up or whether the temperature's down, the nature watcher, the catcher and the pitcher are always around. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches and the watcher watches. So whether the temperature's rises or whether the temperature falls the nature watcher just watches the catcher who's watching the pitcher who's watching the balls."

"I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines."

"Give me the gift of a grip-top sock, A clip drape shipshape tip top sock. Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock, But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock. None of your fantastic slack swap slop From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop. Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock. Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock, Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block. Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop Tip me to a tip top grip top sock."

"Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb."

"The Doge did what a Doge does, when a Doge does his duty to a Duke, that is. When the Doge did his duty and the Duke didn't, that's when the Duchess did the dirt to the Duke with the Doge. There they were in the dark: The Duke with his dagger, the Doge with his dart and the Duchess with her dirk. The Duchess dug at the Duke just when the Duke dove at the Doge. Now the Duke ducked, the Doge dodged, and the Duchess didn't. So the Duke got the Duchess, the Duchess got the Doge, and the Doge got the Duke."

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

"The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weather friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly filled fellows and facing famine, he found him-self a feed flinger in a filthy farm-lot. He fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments. "Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier," the frazzled fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact. Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family. Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. "Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors . . ." But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and fix a feast. But the fugitive's fault finding frater, faithfully farming his father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of former falderal. His fury flashed, but fussing was futile. His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten and folly forsaken." Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude."

"If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer..... Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report! If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! You can't say this? What a shame, sir! We'll find you another game, sir. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!"

"Everybody's heard of Peter Piper And the peck of pickled peppers that he picked That's such a silly simple children's game It hasn't even got a name But I'd like to bet that it'll trip you And I bet you're gonna have to say you're licked If Peter Piper you pronounce with ease Then twist your tongue around these Moses supposes his toeses are roses But Moses supposes erroneously For Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses As Moses supposes his toeses to be That's tongue twisters And it seems so easy till the word gets sprung If you insist you want to try a lisp Then step up mister and twist your tongue Now Kissle will whistle at busty Miss. Russell Who'll rustle and bustle till Kissle will roar So Russell asked Axle for Kissle's dismissal And this'll teach Kissle to whistle no more That's tongue twisters And it seems so easy till you twist your tongue Tito and Tato were tattooed in total But Toto was only tattooed on his toe So Tato told Tito where Toto was tattooed But Tito said Toto's tattoo wouldn't show Theda thought Thora was thumping her thimble But Thomas thought Thora was thumping her drum Said Theda if Thora's not thumping her thimble I think that she surely is thumping her thumb That's tongue twisters And it seems so easy till the word gets sprung If you insist you want to try a lisp Then step up mister and twist your tongue Now Charley is chary when choosing his cheeses And cheese is a challenge when Charley arrives When Charley is charming and chooses a cheddar Then chews it and chips it and chops in some chives Heda is hoping to hop to Tahiti To hack a hibiscus to hang on her hat Now Heda has hundreds of hats on her hatrack So how can a hop to Tahiti help that Snobby Miss. Nora is sniffing her snuffer The snuffer's no sniffing it makes Nora sneeze When Snyda lets Nort know his Nora is sneezing She snappily snorts Nora's sneezing a breeze Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore For shops at the seashore are so sure to lose And she's not so sure of what she should be selling Should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes That's tongue twisters And it seems so easy till the word gets sprung If you insist you want to try a lisp Then step up mister and twist your tongue Twista felt Twister was trying to whistle But Twister had twisted his tongue"